Procrastination

I turned 29 around a decade back or at least thats what it feels like. I had a gala celebration which included cutting a cake (This was only the second time in my life that I have done it), singing a song while standing on a chair (This was my first), three flaming lamborghinis (Definitely my first and the last), a broken car (My first and hopefully the last).

As I was sitting by the roadside with the broke car at 3.30AM in the morning, I was trying to convince my rational self on why I should just leave the car there itself and come back for it tomorrow. I was coming up with irrefutable logic in my support eg. what could I possibly do at that ungodly hour or if I lock the car, how could anybody steal it etc. etc. And I had an epiphany. I realized that one constant in my life has been the ability to come up with undeniable logic to postpone as many things as possible to the point of not doing them at all. I would wake up on saturday and postpone the shower to after a lazy breakfast, to after an afternoon nap, to after a starbucks latte and then eventually convince myself that there is no point in taking a shower at 10PM and might as well do it the next morning. Next morning, the cycle is of course repeated.

There have been numerous activities that I have taken up or want to take up which have somehow either been abandoned midway or have never materialized. I have always been able to come up with a strong argument in favor of taking up an activity and then an even stronger one in favor of abandoning it. I would play cricket and then convince myself that I dont have the talent (This might be a partial truth; actually the whole truth). I would start writing a novel, think about the time it takes to market (It is an unbelievable 5-6 years from the time you pen your first word) and come up with something else which can give me instant gratification. So, I would start blogging and then tell myself who the heck gives a damn (I am not lying when I say there are 11 draft articles which would probably never get published). Similarly, I would want to take up photography, golf etc. and then sleep over it. The list is endless.

For a long time, I described it all as a side-effect of travelling light. I said to myself that I dont like excess baggage because that will slow me down and I should rather focus on fewer but more important things. Just another of my gimmicks to turn this into a glamorous argument. It was just that the things I was focusing on were so few as to be none.

So sitting by the roadside, I finally decided to come face-to-face with my rational self. We both agreed that it was purely procrastination and that I should call up the unmistakable 24-hour toll-free number printed in bold italics on the windshield. A tow-truck arrived in less than 20 minutes which also dropped me home on its way to the repair centre. But not before the aforementioned epiphany.

Honestly and truthfully, procrastination makes life so much easier and arguably happier. I really do want to procrastinate. But I am going to snooze the thought for the time being.