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Sunday, September 26, 2010

So, You be the Joker and I'll be the Clown

So many status updates vying for precious little attention. Many of your friends want to share every waking minute of their rollicking lives with you. Some do better than others. Sample these…

Is in the mood to swiftly take over the world.

Put the empah-sus on the wrong syllah-ble.

Is going to procrastinate. May be tomorrow.

"Insert poignant comical quip about Mondays here"

Pretty sure my bladder is on non-speaking terms with me. Pretty sure that dull ache wasn’t where it shouldn’t be yesterday.

"Insert lose weight joke here"

Realised once again that knees don't bend sideways. Unless they were rubber, then they'd bend in any direction, but you'd have rubber knees and that would suck. Like I-can't-stand-up-coz-my-knees-are-rubber suck. I need an icepack. Seriously.

Is more than less but less than more…More or less.

Is the man your man could smell like.

Brains have officially taken a leave of absence. Insert more weekends to continue.

Hey, stop playing with my delirium.

Doesn’t like the thirties. Can I have a refund?

Ah yes. Caffeine. The one remaining socially acceptable drug.

It’s never too late to make an imaginary friend.

Prescribed dosing – No more than three status updates a day. In case of addiction, stop paying your internet bills, smash your laptop or slit your wrists, in increasing order of desperation.

All this is of course harmless fun. But what if some important people were addicted to facebook? I am not talking about celebrities who obviously will have professional help. I am talking about people like a small-time judge? Let’s imagine what he might post…

Fell asleep again today.

The Janitor smiled at me today or was it my imagination?

You can argue as long as you feel like but I am not letting this bastard get away. Peace.

Seriously, if you dress like this to office, what else would you expect? Feel sorry for the defendant.

What a long day. Thank god for facebook-for-iPhone.

The janitor smiled at me again today. So tormenting.

What a bloody racist. White trash, if you ask me.

The universe has never been a more comical of a place. Not the mildly ticklish kind but like a train-wreck kind of funny. Those watching from higher dimensions must be confused out of their wits. Meanwhile, you continue to be the joker and I’ll be the resident clown. And we’ll laugh while we are up there and we’ll laugh when we are down.


Annoymously said...

Brilliant one-liners, love 'em.

amateur idler said...


Dudette said...

And I'll win in the end... LOLz!!
Good one!

Anonymous said...

where's the original resident dormitus?